I've finally started packing... and ranting...

With only 4 days before I must vacate this living space, I've finally begun to pack up 3 years of my life. I have nowhere to go, but I can't stay here. Sucks doesn't it?!

Going through several years of your life and packing it away is always strange. It's like stumbling backwards randomly through your memories as each long since hidden item reminds you of the past. So many people I wish I still was in contact with, or those that I still am but never see.

I found a phone number for a guy who was a great and close friend of mine 3 years ago right before I moved up here. I've been thinking about calling, under the strange and unlikely thought that if he was still there we could meet again.

I also found a candle that a dear friend gave me my first year in this town. The note on it says: "Hey Chris! I hope you don't mind that I let myself in. I wanted to give you something. Lilies are supposed to relieve stress. I thought you might like the smell of some. Call me when you get home. I'm worried about you. Best wishes and good luck! Love Casey. P.S. HUG!"

I have no idea, no memory of what this is/was about. Maybe I'd rather not remember. But this is from someone that I've lost contact with. I for the life of me, can't think of why that happened, and that is really bothering me right now.

I know of some people who live in this town that I haven't seen in half of forever, but I always hoped that I'd run into them randomly on the streets one day. Packing up my life and getting ready to leave this town makes this all the more unlikely.

My life is in a state of flux... Aren't all of ours?
I really have no idea what I'm doing, or where I'm going...
I think I need this candle and its flame from the past... Weird how the mind connects things that way...