Little Baby Alien Raised By the Acorns

Title: Little Baby Alien Raised By The Acorns
Genre: Uh...General?
Rating: Fine for all...
Author Notes: I'm a strange man and I know this story isn't the best... I just wrote it for fun...

The little baby alien raised by the acorns leaned against the oak tree and stared above him into the black void broken up only by the few twinkling dots amidst the heavens. This tree had always been his favourite thinking spot. Every night of his life, as far as he could remember, the little alien would come to this tree and stare up at the sky. He found that no matter what length of time past, he was always left wondering just where he came from. When he had first found this tree, it was naught but a narrow sapling, but he knew immediately that it would be an excellent spot. “Sigh,” he thought, “I guess its time to return to my family. I have to make dinner soon.”

As the little alien stirred the food over his campfire with a fork he had discovered in the forest, he found himself thinking about his parent’s mistreatment of him. “I’ve always got to do all the work around here,” he thought. As the little alien placed their meals before the two acorns he couldn’t help but feel their disapproving glare. This was just another sign of how under appreciated he was. As far as he was concerned, it was the final straw. He threw down his utensil and through a shaking voice, finally managed to force up the words, “I’m sick of doing all the work. I’m moving to the big city and finding my place is this world.”

The little alien packed his few meager belongings into a handkerchief, but as he did so, he knew his mother was watching him accusingly. She had always been so judgmental, and was now attempting to guilt him into staying. “No Mom I’m tired of you oppressing me. I’m leaving home!!” yelled the little alien. He slung his bindle stick over his shoulder and began walking out of the forest.

As he exited the forest, the little alien caught his first glimpse of the flashy lights of the big city. Approaching the closest building, he held his hand above his eyes to block the sun. As he stared up at the horizon reaching buildings, “whoa, this place is crazy!!” was all he could think.

The little alien saw no people in the city due to the late hour, so he resigned himself to wander the streets until he finally found one to converse with. “If I am to talk to them, I will need an alibi,” he thought to himself as he continued down the roads, “that way when I speak to people no one will know I’m actually an alien who was raised by acorns. I’m so smart some times I scare myself.”

After much searching, the little alien saw a particularly wholesome looking gentleman with glasses and a large moustache out for a brisk morning walk. “Excuse me sir, my name is…” the little alien said before the heavily moustached man cut him off with his screams of surprise. “Sweet Tristan’s triangle!! I’ve discovered proof of alien life!! I’m a hero!!” the reasonably wholesome looking gentleman began to yell, flailing his arms around frantically and looking for another person to share his greatness with.

“Um… Sir? I wish to bridge the gap between our two peoples…” the little alien said in a meek tone. “SILENCE!!” the moustached man bellowed placing his index fingers to his temples, “I’m attempting to read your alien mind!!”

“Sorry…” the little alien said confused by the stranger, though he knew interrupting people had always been his greatest vice. Suddenly he knew how to make it up to this wholesome looking man, “say do you want to come meet my parents?” The wholesome seeming gentleman jumped at this chance, “Do I!?!”

“Here they are, my mom and dad…” the little alien said as he waved at the two acorns lying on the ground before him. The moustache-toting gentleman simply stared forward awhile before saying, “well I can’t honestly say that I’m not disappointed.”

“Well, enjoy your new slave mom and dad. I’m off to find my destiny,” the little alien said leaving home once more. The gentleman blinked a few times at the alien walking out of the forest and back at the two acorns. Finally he just sighed, “I hate my life…”