Ah, what the fork! Time to admit this...

I can't help it, I have an addiction, well one of many. I steal forks from restaurants, friends, associates, enemies, stores, homeless people, 6 foot tall blue gelatinous space crickets from a dimension of pure evil...

Wait what the hell am I talking about?!? Am I freakin on something?!? Oh right... No, I'm just an idiot or insane... Both!

Where was I? Ah yes, my obsession...
It started as a joke, or revenge against a restaurant or something. I really don't even know anymore.

I have two silverware cases now that are just full to the brim. At last count I was approaching 80. I have some nice antique silver, some regular dinner/salad/desert forks, and one giant wooden fork I found in the trash one day.

I have rules for this whole thing too. Oh I can tell how interested you are to here them, and thus I present them to you!

1)Never the same pattern twice - Every fork must have a different handle, or really what the hell would the point be?

2)No plastic, wooden, or etc handles simply placed over the metal - it is more interesting to stick to different engraving styles to the handle.

3)Never steal forks from a place that actually sells forks - I take them from restaurants and people who don't have anything to do with that. Tis a part of a strange bastion of my moral code.

4)Don't use the forks for evil - I may remove this rule...

Now you know my terrible terrible secret. These things happen...
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." - Yogi Berra